Depression

Depression

Depression is many things, depressing is one of them. Ironic, isn’t it?

Depression is something that affects most people once or twice in their life, and is more of an acute depression rather than being a depressed person. These moments can stick with someone who isn’t depressed from anywhere from a couple hours to a couple days. With somebody like me, well these moments stick around typically until the next one hits. This is why depression is so bloody hard to escape. Instead of coping and then healing happening, depressed individuals are stuck in the coping stage constantly, so there is no break between these events and it seems as if you lose perspective on what it’s like to not be depressed. So it’s like being stuck in a loop where there is no time for healing.

To put this loop in perspective let’s say I happen to think upon human mortality, or really how many people die every day without notice by the majority of our species. Something that most people don’t really think about but would still be considered sad, no? This would haunt me personally for a few hours, and then something new would hit again. Now with all of these little things that spark sadness, one that is depressed tends to avoid things that make them feel this way in order to try and get to the healing stage. Well, I cannot avoid the things that make me sad because people make me sad. And it looks weird for somebody to want to be alone all the time, especially when your “friends” and family have this disingenuous interest in you because they are trying to make you feel better because they know you are depressed. And this fake interest in what I do and think just makes me even more depressed; because this just means that they truly don’t care at all and are only showing interest because of some superiority complex telling them that I “need” their help in order to feel better. It’s fucking depressing.

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4 comments on “Depression

  1. With you there Elias, but I think this your mood talking. The problem with people who want to help is that they don’t know how to and dealing with these people makes things worse for us. I think your picture says it all – telling a drowning man to swim is a bit pointless, but most people don’t know what a depression life-line looks like, let alone how to throw it. Lets be honest, if we knew what the life-line looked like we wouldn’t be ill. Please trust me, their interest in your well-being is not fake – they are just trying to help. I haven’t told any of friends about my illness and only a few members of my family know – I find telling them that I am fine and talking about the future stops them talking about me. Sounds like I’m being fake with them, but it’s just my coping mechanism. Good luck and I hop you find some peace with the ones who truly love you.

  2. […] Depression (eliascopperton.wordpress.com) […]

  3. Last night I was right – this morning you’re right. I find myself hidding in the bedroom avoiding contact with my daughter – I’ve decided I must now hide this from my wife and convince her I’m getting well – I made an appoint with shrink so I can get some meds, but I’m not telling her. By tonight I’ll be OK and believe what I said last night. Good Elias, lord knows we all need a bit of luck at the minute!

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